now that our friends have gone, kev is at work and i'm alone in the apartment again i can't help thinking 'what am i doing'? it seems unbelievable to me that we have now been living in vienna for 5 months. but what have i achieved in those 5 months? i still feel like an alien here, i still have no job, i still can't speak the language. and i'm still at a total loss as to how to go forward from here. i would like to do something creative, but fear i'm not creative enough. this city seems like such a wonderful place when we have friends here but then it seems so unwelcoming when i'm alone. i guess i have a lot to think about. and maybe too much time on my hands to do it!
first things first, i need to get in the shower and stop looking at the internet! then i think i'll look for a recipe and make something nice for dinner.
Re wasting time, check out The Sun on the Bookcase poem by Thomas Hardy. One of my faves and one Helen and I used to quote when we were at school and we'd done nothing but sit in my car chatting and smoking fags all day. He's 'wasting' time thinking about the love of his life, but then he thinks well, actually is it a waste. And it's the same here... what's a waste? you're spending time doing something you enjoy, being comfy in bed reading blogs. Sounds like my day! And go on, try being creative. And if it turns out you're not (which i'm sure won't be the case), so f'ing what, I'm sure it will still be fun trying! xx
ReplyDeletethanks sherry - you're the bestest. i just read the poem. love it xx
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